Sexism

I am woman, hear me roar, but Used to Love Her is my favorite G&R song, anyway, so go figure. I’ve succeeded in the man’s world, big time, and have had every possible misogynistic insult hurled at me. Meh. Sticks and stones. I am not offended by men opening doors for me, but I am deeply offended by any man or sexually-repressed Christian nutbag believing they have the right to dictate what I can and cannot do with my body.

Don’t accuse me of sexism and/or misogyny when I say stuff like Michele Bachmann is a Koch Whore Lunatic Bitch -or- Sarah Palin has Saggy Jowels and Bad 80s Tattooed Lipliner -or- Callista Gingrich is a frigid, downtrodden Republican wife. THX.

And to my younger sisters: The secret of successful feminism is thick skin and your ability to do a better job than them. If that doesn’t work try public derision of his tiny dick.

Religulousness

Freedom of Religion means Freedom From Religion. Period.

I am a proud and unapologetic atheist who knows that organized religion is nothing but a fearmongering-for-profit scam, with Christianity being the worst offender by far. I am aware that this turns a lot of people off, but know this: I would fight to the death for your religious freedom—for you to believe in and celebrate whatever mythology you choose to believe in and celebrate—but I would also fight to the death to prevent you from ever inflicting it on me.

This is why it’s no holds barred between me and the Fundie Freaks who attempt to inflict their ludicrous beliefs on me with every vote they cast. I will relentlessly shine a light on their hateful hypocrisy, while continuing to hope that one day the actual “Good Christians”—those who believe that the historical figure known as Jesus Christ was about hope and love and caring for those less fortunate—will reclaim their religion from the Fundamentalist Christian Extremists who have successfully hijacked Christianity for their own despicable ends in exactly the same way as Al Queda has hijacked Islam.

Actually, The Rantorums are worse than Al Queda because it is their goal to destroy the nation — i.e.  The Constitution —from within, and with the full support of the Christian Dominionists in the U.S. Congress and State Legislatures from sea to shining sea.

Caveat: Might surprise you to learn that I was baptized Catholic – even went to Catholic school through 8^th grade, but only because my dad believed it offered higher academic standards. Neither of my parents ever went to church, and all the religion I ever got at home was the fun secular stuff like Santa and the Easter Bunny. This is the greatest gift my parents’ ever gave me. I am eternally grateful to them for not trying to brainwash me into believing that I am some despicable sinner in need of saving from myself.

“If a man among you got no sin upon his hand
let him cast a stone at me for playing in the band.”

~Robert Hunter

Dumb Fucking Hick-ery

I know there are millions of smart, sane people living in Red and Confederate states, and that you are climbing an incredibly steep hill, dragging your toothless inbred fuckwit neighbors into the 21st Century, so please don’t take it personally when I refer to Oklahoma, Nebraska, Kansas, Alabama, Florida and, especially, Texas, collectively as “The Dumb Fucking Hick States”.

And yes, we have our share of inbred hicks right here in Jersey. In north Jersey, they’re known as “Jackson Whites”; in south Jersey, they’re “Pineys” and I’ve had one (two teeth, one gold)  aim a sawed-off shotgun at my head, growling, “You kids git off my land.” 

We got outta there in a hurry, but were soon laughing it off  because we were a) young and stoopid and b) having a rip-roaring kegger on his Pinelands property at the time.

These days it’s not so funny.

Ladies and Germs: the Great Bo Diddley.